Learn from the Butterflies

January 1, 2014

As a little girl, I had a fascination with caterpillars. I vividly remember those hot summer days, collecting handfuls of those furry critters climbing up the brick walls of my house. I’d proudly plop them down on the stone path and watch them wiggle and squirm while I lightly stroked their fuzz. Little did I know, these were the same creatures that morphed into the fluttering butterflies dancing in the sky nearby.

Butterflies have four separate stages in their life cycle–egg, caterpillar, pupa and adult butterfly. Without getting into the science of it, I want to focus on the metaphor between myself and the last two stages of the butterfly. First, I must back track. . .

I was diagnosed with anorexia and sent off to a treatment center during my senior year of high school. I spent three months restoring a life-saving amount of weight and attending more therapy sessions than most people do in a life time. Upon much reflection, I came to the conclusion that the eating disorder wasn’t me, rather a mighty force of false beliefs and thought patterns that were suppressing my true self. I learned tools to combat those negative thoughts while in treatment, yet I never truly conquered them. Some of those beliefs have haunted me most of my twenties.

Self-doubt and fear have played a leading role in my life the past decade. I was afraid of a lot of things: failure, others’ opinions of me, letting someone down, change. Sometimes I didn’t even know what I was afraid of, but the feelings were there. And the feelings were often crippling.

I felt like I was trapped inside a shell, enveloped so firmly that my true self and all my potential were inhibited. I often would find myself thinking, Why am I so hard on myself? What could I become if I didn’t worry about what everyone else thought? Where has my confidence gone? The answer came in the form of a vision.

I was the pupa. Inside of the shell–one of self-doubt and fear–was my true self. But I was stuck. I had to face those fears head on and be brave enough to break through. I couldn’t do this alone.

cocoon

I turned to God to transform me into a new person by changing the way I think. {Romans 12:2} I reflected upon those false beliefs and negative thought patterns. I dug deep and challenged them with truth–God’s truth. It wasn’t easy. It was scary and painful. But each time I did this, I became stronger. More peaceful. More alive!

I began to worry less and less about other people’s expectations of me or what I thought their expectations were. I noticed my confidence growing and my outlook on life becoming brighter. When I was no longer doubting myself or fearing the future, I started setting goals and dreams for my life. I was shedding my shell and transforming into the person God created me to be. I was becoming the butterfly. The mariposa

spread your wingsWhen deciding on the name for my blog, Mariposa Moment seemed perfectly fitting. Not only is mariposa another name for butterfly, but it was also the name of my residential unit at the treatment centerMariposa Moment is about those moments we all experience when we bravely face our fears, conquer our self-doubt and let our true self shine through.

Some may have several small victories each day. Some may have one major life-changing shift towards inner health and well-being. No matter how frequent or few, these precious moments give us the freedom, the joy, the life that God designed for us to experience. Go courageously into today. Be the mariposa and fly!

Lots of love,

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2 thoughts on “Learn from the Butterflies

  1. davidetiner@aol.com'David Tiner

    Sarah Kate you are very courageous to be so vulnerable in sharing your story. I believe many could benefit from reading your blog.

    Reply

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