Are You Being Unfair?

January 27, 2014

kittiesI find myself doing it a lot. Even when I tell myself it’s pointless. It’s silly. Harmful even. Yet, my mind still slips into that familiar thought process. Of what, you might ask?

Comparing. 

Comparing ourselves to others is so ingrained in our culture. It’s flashed across the media with those eye-catching ‘best dressed’ or ‘worst dressed’ magazine covers. Education ranks us on intelligence and test scores, sport ranks us on athleticism and performance and society ranks us on virtually every aspect of our appearance: size, shape, height, attraction.

Comparisons are part of life, to some degree. You can’t totally escape them.

But, you can choose not to compare. 

Because, frankly, it’s unfair.

unfair to compare

Why? Because everyone is different. You are uniquely made. It’s unfair to waste your conscious thoughts beating yourself up over what you’re not good at or what you don’t like about yourself. It’s unfair to spend precious time and energy being jealous of what other people have that you don’t, what they’ve accomplished that you haven’t or anything else for that matter.

Comparing ourselves to others doesn’t work. I can sit here all day wishing I could sing better or was more creative. I could look at someone like Taylor Swift in all her success and talent and get down on myself or become jealous.

But, the reality is I am enough. Comparing what T-Swift has that I don’t isn’t going to get me anywhere. It is actually going to have a negative effect on my self-esteem and happiness.

It’s common for girls [and guys] to body bash with comments like I wish I had her legs, I’d do anything to get her flat stomach or I’d die for that thigh gap. 

On the flip side, how often do you hear or say?

“At least I’m not that ___________.”

At least I didn’t do _____________.”

Thank goodness I don’t ____________.”

Comparing is unfair. Let me share 2 reasons it’s UNFAIR TO COMPARE.

  1. You feel bad about yourself

    When you compare yourself to someone who you feel ‘less-than’, you consequently feel bad about yourself. You might get jealous of their success or envious of their cool qualities. Feeling bad about yourself leads to self-doubt. It is a slippery slope into self-pity, so take action and when you feel yourself starting that less-than comparison, remember you are enough. You are unique and wonderfully made!

  2. You become prideful

    You run the risk of getting a big head when you compare yourself to someone you feel ‘better than’. People do this to make themselves feel good or justify their actions. Who doesn’t feel some sense of gratification when they use the comparison At least I ______. If you compare this way, you can become prideful. Pride can lead to stubbornness, impatience and a whole other set of problems.

Stay focused on your self, your purpose. You are on a unique journey of your own, creating your own exciting story.

Do you agree that it is Unfair to Compare? Leave a comment below!

Lots of love,

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Thank you for making me so wonderfully complex! Your workmanship is marvelous–how well I know it. ~Psalm 139:14

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6 thoughts on “Are You Being Unfair?

  1. Janinatiner@aol.com'Janina Tiner

    Thank you for this helpful reminder. When I compare, I am questioning God’s handiwork. Your insightful words remind me to shift my focus of thinking and feeling from “I am not enough” to ” I am loveable just as I am”.

    Reply
  2. hello@nickielinaire.co.nz'Nickie

    Loved hearing your thoughts on this Sarah. “Stay focused on your self, your purpose. You are on a unique journey of your own, creating your own exciting story,” such wise words. Thank you so much for sharing x

    Reply

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